I'm what is known as a free thinker. I question everything, and therefore it is hideously ironic that the very same intellectual curiosity which led me into Scientology was immediately held against me. It started off in simple ways but soon escalated into what I experienced as a high-pressure sales tactic--only I was being forcibly sold on the notion that my own self-reliance and independence was blocking me from reaching my true potential.
The realization that these well dressed and friendly Scientologists were conspiring to foster self-doubt and confusion. To claim that it was anything less than a conspiracy would give their tactics a level of respect that I now know is undeserved. Like sharks drawn to freshly spilled blood, I was beset by experts who knew more about the inner workings of my mind than I did. Or so I was supposed to believe.
It started like this: I asked, why can't I audit myself? "Auditing" is the backbone of Scientology's teachings and practices. It's a form of psychoanalysis which addresses the so called "reactive mind," which to me seemed a plausible, albeit unfounded concept of the mind. Scientology posits the existence of a mind which exists parallel to our conscious mind, not unlike what any Psychology 101 student would recognize as the "unconscious." In Scientology, however, the unconscious mind is more than a repository or repressed desires and fears. Instead, it's the source of all our problems.
As I understood it, the auditing process was a way of accessing the hidden contents of our reactive mind and eliminating stored traumatic experiences. I compared it to hypnotherapy, in a casual and open minded manner, hoping to elicit an interesting and informative conversation about the process. What I got was entirely unexpected; I was scoffed at. The auditor, in whom I was supposed to entrust my deepest, darkest secrets, made me feel stupid and uninformed.
It was bewildering. I was beginning to lose ground in my own mind. I was rapidly capitulating to the repetitive suggestions which constantly reiterated to me the same basic point: agree with the arbitrary and illogical statements made by the staff members, or be subtly berated. It was a sly trick and its basis was nothing less than intimidation disguised as "help."
Introduction: Awakening From The Nightmare
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Escape From Scientology
After being trapped in an abusive relationship with Scientology, I'm finally free. My escape was only made possible thanks to the hard work of the cyber-activism of Anonymous. I want to explain to the general public how an otherwise intelligent and well adjusted person can get caught up in Scientology's web of deceit. There truly is something evil in that the "Church" manipulates the basic psychology of its members/ victims in a way that is nearly impossible to escape until it's too late. It is also my opinion that they operate with the malign intent to not only drain their members emotionally, deprive them intellectually, but also to keep them oppressed financially. I am publishing an account of how Scientology robbed me of my life; of the jobs I lost, the friends who abandoned me, and worse, the time that I lost while indentured as an unwitting servant in this international criminal enterprise. It sounds almost unbelievable until you wake up to the reality of destructive cults in our midst. Think Jonestown, the Moonies, or the Raelians. These are all above ground cults which flourish in our mostly enlightened society. But they are only the tip of the iceberg. Not all cults need publicity to survive. Most thrive under the cover of darkness. It is my view that Scientology falls within the latter category; that the majority of their activities happen in the dark, paranoid, and secret world dreamed up by the charismatic confidence trickster, L. Ron Hubbard. I want to thank each and every Anonymous hero for your role in my awakening and to thank you for allowing me to present my story here. Sarah X |
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